Did you hear? Marriage is going extinct.

The other week I told a friend at school that I was married and had 2 kids, to which she replied: “wow, people are still doing that?”

Right.

Considering that this is becoming a common response (and driving me insane), I decided to make light of the situation by doing something creative. Enter Noran: a 30-year-old man from the year 2082. He’s facing a great tragedy where he must choose between the desires of his heart, and the traditions of the past.

Enjoy.

——————————————————————————————————————

May 3rd, 2082

It has been 3 days since my last entry, but I have an excuse: I’ve met someone. Not just someone…this woman’s gorgeous. I have never loved until this day, no, I have never breathed till three days ago. The feelings are overwhelming. To tell you the truth, the only reason I am making this entry is for the sake of continuity. Otherwise, I’m wasting time better spent with Brooke. Oh yes, that’s her name, Brooke. And dare I sound clichéd, but her beauty flows like the very streams of her namesake…

I would probably explode with love except for the tragedy that restrains me. The girl wants to get married. I know!! In this advanced age, I can’t believe that there are still those who hold on to these ancient traditions. But not only does she want to get married, but before God! Leave it to me to find the only woman on the planet that still believes in Santa Claus.

Any case, Ben was poking fun at me all day yesterday: “So when you gonna tie the knot Beehive?” Beehive…if this was the early 21st century I’d call the bastard a bigot. Never made any sense to me to use the term ‘Beehive’ as an insult against the Baha’is. I never saw the problem with them. Little idealistic, heck, I’d say they expected too much out of humanity. But they didn’t deserve all that. They don’t deserve it now either.

She doesn’t deserve it.

I don’t understand why she can’t just be like the rest of us and realize that marriage is dead. If I get hitched I won’t hear the end of it at work. Damn. She even spoke about having kids. I mean, doesn’t she get it?! Everyone knows that those nuclear brats never turn out right. Not to mention all the hell they’d have to go through at school. A kid with two parents at home, MARRIED! They’d never survive the ridicule. I couldn’t put them through all that.

Maybe if she was a man than we could work out some type of fedding, adopt some nuclear orphan, and everything would be fine, but this is just too much.

She told me that if I didn’t have marriage in my sights than I could forget our next date. The nerve.  I should have listened to Amy. “Don’t you let your heart confuse your head Noran, I could have done something with my life; instead I had to raise you – don’t you go makin the same mistake.”

Ams always had a way with words.

I guess I’ll just have to confront her about this. It’s just not right. Oh she’s super bright, so it shouldn’t take long for her to realize how ridiculous this is. No, she’ll come around, I know she will. She has to.


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